I’ve been collecting random pictures over the last few months in the hope that it would open the floodgates of inspiration for my blog. I didn’t exactly know what drew me to this picture of a bird on a boat’s rope, hovering over the sea. I’m not a big fan of the open sea and I hate birds. Actually “hate” is a strong word, I don’t hate birds, rather they make me anxious and incredibly uncomfortable, much like the idea of being stranded on a floating vessel in a large expanse of open water. However, inexplicably, there was just something about it.
This is my first published blog (in case you couldn’t already tell) and due to chronic issues with both procrastination and perfectionism, or as Dr Jason Fox puts it “procrastifectionism”, it’s taken me months to even think about finally putting the proverbial pen to paper, let alone publish anything. The idea of putting my own thoughts, ideas and words out into the world has brought back a level of anxiety that I thought I had under control and made my usual confident self back into a corner of nervous questioning. What will people think of it? Is it good enough? Does it make any sense at all outside of my head? Then it clicked and I suddenly understood what it was about this picture that I could relate to. That bird was me, usually controlled and confident but now appearing to be precariously balanced on unsteady ground over what looks like an endless sea of the unknown. Many of people have said to me, running a business is like holding a mirror up for the whole world to see a better reflection of yourself. A short but daunting phrase that sums up why I have been so apprehensive about putting myself and my business out into the world. It is all of me, an apologetically, unapologetic exposure for all to appraise, however they see fit.
Fast-forward however many weeks and I’ve finally done it, and like doing anything for the first time, once you start, (hopefully) you realise it’s not half as scary as you originally thought. Now I look at this picture and rather than seeing it as precarious and unnerving, I see it as opportunistic, free and proud. A much better reflection of me.